Saturday, August 3, 2013

Kayla, What In The World Were You Doing In Cali?

I thought about just keeping this blog private but decided this will be my way to I guess let everyone else that matters know. I also thought about not posting anything about it on facebook but it was awkward telling people not to post anything about it my facebook. This will become a big part of my life soon, it kind of already is and soon people will start asking questions. I know I live 1000 miles away from home but its weird being secretive. I didn't want to publicly announce on facebook so instead I was like how about I make a blog post about it and the people who want to really know will click on the blog post and actually read it. The people that don't care don't have to read it. So here it is..

Thursday morning I left for Los Angeles and a lot of people were wondering why I was there so this will be my "coming out" blog post to all the people that don't know yet.. Most of my close friends and family know. But it's getting to the point where I'm tired of having to feel like I have to hide it. I know not everyone is going to be understanding and not everyone will agree with what I'm doing it and I'm okay with that. My dad and my gigi aren't completely on board with it and don't agree with it and I'm okay with that. They told me why they wouldn't do it and why they think I shouldn't do it. I know they will still love me no matter what and I'm thankful for that. I know people will be vocal about how they feel about it and REALLY disagree and again I'm okay with that. If you want to delete me as a facebook or instagram friend okay that's fine with me. Well here goes nothing! I am going through the process to be a GESTATIONAL surrogate. The reason I put gestational in cap locks is because there are 2 types of surrogates a traditional(which I will never do) and a gestational which is the one I am doing. If you want to know the difference google it. One day I may make a blog post about it because it seems a lot of people do not know the difference and that seems to be why a lot of people don't agree with surrogacy.

I have put a LOT of thought into becoming a surrogate. Done a lot of research. Spoke with a lot of other surrogates who had good and bad experiences. I played with the thought for awhile and then one day brought it up to Adam, he was NOT on board at first. I mean he didn't even want to discuss it. Let's just say I was far from happy(he had to make his own sandwich for dinner that night haha). I wrote him a letter explaining why I wanted to do it and why I felt so passionate about it and then let the idea go. I had already began speaking with a few agencies, not to begin the process but to just get more information about their agencies. One night I planned on emailing the agencies and telling them thank you for their time but right now I was not ready to go forward with surrogacy. That afternoon he came home for lunch and all he said was, "I'm on board." I was like WHAT? He said, "I support you 100%" my face lit up like a Christmas tree. I did not want to become a surrogate unless I had Adams approval and support. This was not changing my hair color, getting my nose pierced, or anything that could be "temporary" this is a 12-24 month commitment and sometimes even a life long commitment. I mean I know that this will not be our child but this experience will change us for the rest of our life and I did not want to start this journey on a bad note with my husband. This was a commitment we BOTH had to make and be in together. So I decided on an agency and we went forward. We had to speak with social workers and I had to take some type of personality test and you can read about both of those experiences here and here. We were also paired with a set of IP's(Intended Parents) that ended up denying us and you can read about that here. But then we got paired with a new set of IP's and we were super excited whenever we got their profile. You can read about our experience when we skyped them here. Adam has been awesome during this whole experience and I know he will be great during the rest of it. We are both really excited about this experience.

So now to answer your question. Why was I in Cali? I had to go to a fertility clinic to be screened and the doctor there had to clear me to be a surrogate. I left Thursday morning and came home Friday night but landed in North Carolina Saturday EARLY morning -___- I really enjoyed the trip it was my first time since my girls trip to NYC to actually get away. But I really liked that this trip was just ME! It was very relaxing. I was really hoping Adam could go but he had to be in the field for work while I was gone. Tomorrow I will post the blog about my trip to Cali. I'm too lazy right now and tired. I only got about 5 hours of sleep and it was not 5 hours together it was 30 minutes here, 10 minutes there, 30 minutes again, 2 hours, and you get the picture right haha. If I didn't tell you I was going to be a surrogate before this post don't feel bad. I only told like a handful of people mainly my parents, my 2 best friends, a really good friend of mine here at Bragg, and that's about it.. I have way too much family to tell EVERY one of y'all. Plus I don't really have everyone's phone number anymore. It doesn't mean your not important. I still love all of y'all it just got overwhelming trying to tell EVERYONE. I guess that's it for now.
*If you would like to keep up with my journey you look over to the right and either follow me if you have a google account or blog or you can follow by email and whenever I post a blog you will get an email of it and can follow me that way. Also if you'd like to read my other blog posts you can click the my blog title at the top of the page.

(If their are typos, I used the wrong there/their/they're, your/you're, or whatever else please forgive me I'm exhausted but can't go back to sleep until tonight so I decided to update my blog)

WOW! This is a quick edit. I did not realize how many views I'd actually get. Since I never publicly posted my blog anywhere I only got a few views from my surrogate friends I follow and that follow me. I think the most views I got in a day were probably around 20. It keeps slowly going up and is over 450 now but I was expecting maybe 100 views so whenever I realized I hit way over 100 I was amazed. Thank yall for viewing my blog :)


  1. I admire you. You are making an awesome decision. It takes a special person to make this kind of commitment. My prayers are for you and what your doing for your intended parents. God bless you.

  2. What a blessing you will be to hopeful parents! I loved being pregnant and have wanted to be again since the boys were a little older than a year old. I think what you are doing is amazing and such a blessing. May the Lord bless you and your family :)