One Year Ago

Did that really just happen? Did a whole year really just pass?? One year ago today. I remember laying upside down in a doctors office letting 2 tiny embryos try to attach. What was I doing? This is crazy! I can't believe I am getting the chance to do this. I can't believe this is REALLY happening! I was about to become pregnant with someone else's child. At that point only my close friends and family knew what I was doing. I was nervous to come out publicly about being a surrogate. Even though honestly I didn't care how people felt it still made me nervous thinking about all the negative things people could say. I didn't want to publicly come out until I knew I was pregnant because pretty soon it'd be a little difficult to hide.

On November 2nd I had 2 embryos transferred. Not just 1 but 2.. I COULD HAVE BECAME PREGNANT WITH TWINS!! Can you imagine me pregnant with twins! That'd be a sight to see.. At 6 weeks pregnant we found out only 1 embryo stuck. The little surrobaby miracle. It was such an amazing experience and a much different pregnancy experience.


Even though I did have a few very minor complications the pregnancy was pretty easy. No morning sickness, no bedrest, nothing too crazy.. Towards the end of my pregnancy they realized I had extremely low iron and had me take 2 iron pills a day along with my prenatal. And I had to start eating more iron enriched foods. THEN it started. I some how mid pregnancy became lactose intolerant. And it was BAD I mean REALLY REALLY BAD! So I had to cut dairy out which made my iron tank even more. And by the time we realized how low it was it was baby time. Surrobaby decided to come 2 weeks early.

Around 18 weeks we found out surrobaby was going to be a girl. At least that what it looked like haha. I remember the ultrasound tech saying. Well its NOT a boy so that only leaves a girl. But little miss was so stubborn and did not want to let anyone see her. J&J came down for the very first ultrasound, the anatomy scan, and then the delivery. So we got to enjoy some time with them before baby girl came. I was always taking lots of belly pictures and videos to send to them. We talked weekly about what all was going on. And we still talk about every other week now and I love getting updates about surrobaby. I know they are busy with having a new baby and I'm also busy with the kids.

I still look back and think WOW! I did that. I helped complete a family. Not only did my husband and I make 2 amazing kiddos but I also gave another family a child of their own. Some people look at surrogacy and think its like adoption. It is not. I just carried a baby for someone else I did not carry my own child and place them for adoption. I am not on the birth certificate. I am not on any legal documents. Surrobaby was not my child. Ever. From day 1 she has always been J&J's baby.

People ask me all the time if I'd do it again. All I can say is in a heartbeat. I don't know if I ever will do it again. But if I had to go back I would do it all over again. Maybe not the glucose test but everything else yes. That glucose test is DISGUSTING! If I ever had another child I would call around and choose my doctor on how they do their glucose testing.. I'm dead serious. Being on such a sugar high and then having that bad of a crash afterwards is something I have never experienced before and honestly I didn't think it was a real thing until I did the 3 hour glucose test.

My family was my main concern with me being a surrogate. I was so scared of what it would do to them. How they would handle it. How would my husband feel about me being pregnant with someone else's child. How would my children feel about me being pregnant and then not bringing a baby home. Would they think surrobaby was their brother or sister? How would they feel about J&J? I never once questioned my own feelings. And through out the whole pregnancy I felt great I never wondered if I would become attached to her or if it'd be hard giving her to her parents when the time came. Then right before the delivery I started to worry. I started to get scared that as soon as she was born I would form this bond with her and want her for myself. I was scared I would get post partum depression and that I would just completely shut out my family. It worried me. But as soon as she was born their was nothing no connection, no bond, no feeling that I felt with my own children. I genuinely cared for her. And was worried about her wellbeing but that was it. I also was so excited for her parents to meet her. Adam did amazing during the delivery and the whole pregnancy. He was extremely supportive, he liked J&J, he did a lot of foot rubbing (I had some really swollen sausage link toes and elephant ankles haha), and when it came time for delivery he did great. He always does great. Brett and Brynna always knew surrobaby as J&J's baby. They never once called her their sister. Never once asked why she wasn't coming home with us. They also did great.

J&J missed the birth but they were there shortly after. Honestly though I think it was probably a good thing they weren't there to witness my exorcism birthing experience. If you would like to read about the delivery you can click here and it will take you to the birth story. You can also go to the bottom of my blog and see some of the more popular blog post. By the way, did you know that if I was a whale I would still be pregnant!! Whales are pregnant for a year! And elephants are pregnant for about 22 months! Now that is CRAZY! Who wants to be pregnant for almost 2 years. I don't even like going past 40 weeks haha.

We now live about 5 hours from J&J and will probably be making a trip down to see them sometime in the next couple of months. I can't wait to see sweet surrobaby in person again. She has grown so much just in the past 4 months and she is so cute and chubby.

2 Months Have Come and Gone..

Some days I look back and just cannot believe all that has happened this past year.. Our whole lives changed. It has now been a little over 2 months and surrobaby is doing great. I love when I get pictures of her and talk with her parents. We actually just talked today and they said she was baptized recently and she's starting to smile more and more. I am still pumping and shipping but my supply is taking a big dip :( I am hoping to get it back up but we will just have to see. Even though this pregnancy was my hardest out of all of them and even though emotionally I went through a lot during this pregnancy I would still do it all over again. I am so thankful I was able to be a surrogate.

I have had a lot of people tell me they have thought about being a surrogate and ask me questions about it. That is the main reason I did this blog. To educated people on surrogacy. So they not only see the ugly that the news reports but also the good.

A lot of people are still asking if I will be a surrogate again. Well I finally have somewhat of an answer. It's the best one you will get for now. I have considered doing another journey but for now the Army and NY laws will be preventing that.. Adam's orders were changed from Alaska to New York and in New York surrogacy is illegal. Sad I know. I doubt I would have done another surrogacy in the next 2 years but I still dislike the fact that I can't even if I wanted to. And once we move from New York we may be trying to move to Germany or Italy and I won't do surrogacy there either. So we will see what happens later on.

I enjoyed doing this blog so I decided to start a new lifestyle blog about our upcoming travels and changes in life. If you'd like to follow that blog you can go to it by clicking here. It will take you to my new blog. Or you can go to www.movingwiththemorenos.blogspot.com. I will continue updating this blog from time to time but not as much as I once did. If you'd like to get updates whenever I do post a blog post go to the right of my and you can enter your email and subscribe. So when I do update on here you will get it right in your email. I will probably update every few months on here but don't hesitate to ever ask me questions. I really don't mind them..

Thank you to everyone who supported me during this journey in life and for everyone who followed and read my blog post.

1 Week Later..

The first week was harder than I expected.. From what I remember after my 2 kids I bounced back pretty quickly.. With Brett I had a harder time because he caused some bruising and swelling that made it painful for me to sit, laugh, sneeze, move, etc. But he was also my first. With Brynna I felt amazing after delivery. But this time around was totally different. I was really sore in my stomach area from them pressing down on it trying to get all the blood and clots out. I also hated that I had to go home and pretty much do nothing.. Thankfully I didn't have an infant I was bringing home because how can they send you home with an infant and tell you to relax and do nothing? It's pretty impossible after you have a baby to do nothing. haha. But since I was a surrogate and baby didn't come home with me it was a little easier..












The first few days were the hardest. I was EXHAUSTED but I wanted to go and do things. So we tried... On the 4th since it was only 24 hours after I had been released from the hospital we stayed home and watched the fireworks. We wanted to go watch the fireworks and to a concert but I knew my body wasn't up for it so we bought the kids a few small fireworks that they could do in the back yard and they had a blast. Saturday we ended up taking the kids to chuck e cheese.. About half way through I was pretty much having to hold my head up and force my eyes to stay open I was so exhausted. But the kids had a blast :) That evening we did another fire and just relaxed outside and finished off the s'mores we had left. Sunday I think we relaxed at home but honestly I have no idea haha.

Monday it was time to get back to reality. Adam is in the military and the people he works with knew I was pregnant and most of them knew I was a surrogate so when I went into labor Tuesday night he just gave them a heads up that I had the baby and that he wouldn't be at work on Wednesday. Thursday and Friday they were off but Monday he went back to work. So Monday morning he goes in for PT and they didn't know why he was at work they expected him to be home with me and told him if he wanted to that he could fill out the paperwork and go on paternity leave. Have I ever told y'all how much I really like the people he works with?? If not, let me tell you they are amazing! They have been so supportive and took me being a surrogate WAY better than I expected. AND he never once brought up maternity leave. I know a few surros in the military whose husbands requested maternity leave after their wife delivered a surrobaby and it was denied because it wasn't their baby.. We decided before hand to not even try for paternity leave because he doesn't really work now anyways. He is out processing and is just getting forms signed. He's constantly in and out of the house printing out paperwork, dropping off paperwork, and things like that. Even if he was on paternity leave he'd still have to out process so we could get everything done for us to leave in time. Plus again its not like I have a baby I need help with. Yes with my low blood count and iron I could pass out or hemorrhage again BUT I did good over the weekend and wasn't too worried plus if I noticed I was getting a little tired I'd just sit down and relax for a bit. And if I thought I was hemorrhaging again I'd call him immediately to take me back to the ER. So he was back at work.

Tuesday was a GREAT DAY!!! We finally got answers from the movers.. For those of yall that don't know we are moving soon.. VERY SOON. July 18th is the last day we have in this house.. Well the transportation office and port call have been making this move EXTREMELY stressful. I finally just gave up and was just done with everything and told myself that this was just going to be a horrible PCS and that they were going to make everything as difficult as possible. Which they did. Transportation scheduled the movers for August 5th(YES AUGUST 5th not August 1st) and we have to be out of housing by July 18th.... AWESOME. AND my husband has to be at Fort Sill, OK no later than July 24th.. Well Tuesday we got a call from the movers and they were able to fit us in to pack up our house on the 17th and pick everything up on the 18th!! YAY!! Then we had to schedule our move out inspection and pre inspection. The pre inspection was the following day and thankfully everything went well on that.

Wednesday I had a chiropractor appointment and boy did that feel great. I think its been about 3 weeks since I last saw the chiropractor and I was in a lot of pain. I felt like such a little kid because before I scheduled my appointment I had to call Adam and see what his schedule was like and make sure he could drive me to my doctors appointment. Wednesday was also 1 week from delivery.. WOW... A week. Surrobaby was officially 1 week old. I couldn't believe 1 week passed by so quickly. How does it do that. Before we know it she will be walking and talking haha. J&J said she is doing great. She had her first doctors appointment and is healthy :)

Emotionally I feel great.. Physically and sometimes mentally I'm exhausted. I don't even want to go back and read my previous blog post because I have a feeling I had a lot of typos in it and probably some bad ones haha. Adam and the kids have been doing great helping me relax and just lay around. I'm up moving more than I was in the beginning but its more my choice and I know not to push myself too hard and to just take it easy. Pumping is going great. I can tell it is also helping my uterus contract and go back down to normal. But I also know that it'll take time for that to go back to normal too. I gave in and bought a belly bandit.. I like it and wished I would have started using it sooner haha.

My last baby bump photo. This was a few days before delivery..



My one week post partum picture.. On the left I'm not
wearing the belly bandit. On the right I am wearing the
belly bandit. Everything is still wiggly but not too bad.

Questions I've been asked lately..

Was it weird to leave the hospital without a baby?
A little bit. I had a few tears(I didn't cry I held them in haha) as I was being wheeled out but it wasn't sad tears it was more wow it's over...

Were you sad?
Not at all.. I was happy for J&J, their daughter, myself, and my family. I was also very proud of myself. I had just given J&J the best gift they could ever receive. And I knew she would be loved by both of them.

How did the kids do and did they get to meet her?
They did great. They got to meet surrobaby and see her with J&J and they knew she was going home with them and not us. And they were perfectly fine with that.

Will you do another surrogacy?
This is one of the hardest question for me to answer I honestly have no idea.. I would love to be medically cleared in 6 weeks and start the matching process all over again but I wont. My body needs time to heal and I want to focus on getting back in shape. I'd love to start running again and doing some fun runs with the family. Plus we're in the process of moving... We are actually moving in just a few days!! AHHH!! And then we will be moving again in 10 weeks.. So I want to focus on that. AND I want to spend time with my family not pregnant. Yea we had fun while I was pregnant but their was some stuff I wanted to do and being pregnant made it a little more complicated haha. I'd like to sit out back and have a few drinks with my husband while the kids are asleep or go ride fun rides at 6 flags with my son, and jump on a trampoline with my kids. Well that's still a little complicated after you have kids haha.. So honestly I have no idea ask me again in about a year or five haha..

Will you continue blogging?
Yes I will. I will continue blogging. I really enjoyed blogging. It wont be as often because things slow down a lot once you deliver but surrogacy will always be a part of my life. BUT I will also blog about our moves, living in Alaska, and if/when I do another journey I will start blogging about that process.. BUT I may just create another blog for our life in Alaska :)

Those of yall that want to read the delivery story its in the previous blog post :)